Relationships & Kids

3 Min Read

What is Emotional Intelligence

Most people are familiar with IQ and its role as a measurement of intelligence. But how do we measure someone’s social intelligence? EQ is used in this case. A person’s emotional intelligence includes their awareness of other people’s emotions and their ability to manage their own feelings so that they are communicated clearly, diffuse conflict, and improve relationships. 

To be emotionally intelligent means you have a social awareness of how you think or feel, and how others do as well. Emotional intelligence is about having the emotional skills to navigate difficult situations with social competence while managing your stress and mood. To find out more about emotional intelligence and what it means to have a high EQ, read on.

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IQ Versus EQ

High IQ is not related to high EQ. In fact, some people with a high IQ lack the ability to read others’ emotions and have poor social skills. In your own experience, you may come across someone who speaks multiple languages or picks up new skills or information faster than others but notice they work poorly in groups or have a habit of talking too bluntly.

There are many online tests, if not professional organizations, that can measure a person’s IQ, but it’s a bit tougher to identify people who have a high EQ. In simple terms, EQ is the ability to understand how your emotions impact other people. Someone who seems generally agreeable and works well with others might have a high EQ. However, agreeableness alone is not proof of high emotional intelligence – the ability to self-manage, and manage relationships also comes into play. While there is no correlation between high IQ and high EQ, psychologists will generally say that people who get along well with others, have good job performance, stable relationships, and a social awareness likely have higher emotional intelligence.

EQ in Leadership

A person with a high EQ is generally a good leader. They can read the subtle social cues and body language of people in groups. With an ability to understand groups, people with high emotional intelligence are able to effectively navigate conflict and mobilize teams into action. Aware of when to be transparent and how one person’s behaviors and emotions impact a larger group, people with high EQ can quickly spot and diffuse group stress or mood and address employee motivation. 

EQ in Relationships

An essential factor in a strong, lifelong relationship is high emotional intelligence in one or both partners. The reality is that people who have equal levels of differentiation, the ability to define themselves, set boundaries, and stay connected, will have a better chance at staying together long term. Emotional intelligence means better communication between partners and the ability to be more empathetic. 

When couples have low EQ, this means that partners tend to focus on their own feelings and forget about the other person. Problems related to communication and differences in love language increase when couples don’t empathize with one another. A couple with low EQ may rely on family support or therapy to help navigate common relationship problems. In a relationship of high emotional intelligence, partners tend to be more aware of each other’s needs and work together to fix issues as they come up. 

EQ Matters

Stronger relationships, better job performance, and the ability to stay calm in difficult situations all add up to positive mental wellness. If you’re curious about your emotional intelligence, a quick Google search for “emotional intelligence test” will point you in the right direction.

In the end, by taking time to enhance your emotional learning and emotional awareness, you’ll be better equipped to navigate relationships with those around you. A great place to start is with regular visits to a therapist whether you’re experiencing stress or not. By telling a licensed therapist you’re ready to work on your emotional intelligence skills, they’ll be able to  provide you with tools, resources and guidance. 

To locate a therapist who specializes in helping increase emotional intelligence, WithTherapy can point you in the right direction. With licensed professionals who specialize in relationship skills and behaviors, WithTherapy will be a great resource in helping you locate the right person to help you.

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